6 Lessons From Alice in Hulaland
Toward the end of my trip to the islands, the sweetheart Uber driver Roger drops me off in Paia, Maui.
Mama Maui's love is palpable. Maybe it's the negative ions pouring in from the Pacific, or the orchids growing wild out of the trees, maybe it's the plethora of beautiful women, but whatever it is- almost everyone smiles here- they grin in fact, ear to ear. "Aloha! Mahalo!"
Walking down the street of the local beach town, inside a quaint shop window I see a t-shirt "Alice in Hulaland."
I look up and see it's not only on the t-shirt, but it's also the name of the store. Delighted and curious, I walk in.
The clerk Madison, a transplant from South Carolina, greets me surrounded by a sea of t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and groovy vintage souvenirs.
Like a little kid, I blurt out "my name is Alice!"
"It's not every day we get an Alice in the shop. Did you know this shop is named after a Willie Nelson song?"
And before I can say anything, she plays it for me over the speakers, as I try on sunglasses, look at funny socks to give to my husband, and find a hat for my ride or die @alishadavina with big graphic text " Real Mermaids smoke Seaweed."
And the song plays...
Alice in Hulaland
Come sit here on the front row
And get close to the sound
As close as you can
Are you there for the melody?
There for the lyrics?
Or just for the boys in the band?
I am delighted. It's one of those moments, a liquid rainbow light-filled moment, where life is so sweet, so generous, so kind.
And after the ride we have ALL been on this last year, some sweetness is definitely in order!
For a big part of my life, I have been navigating (mostly unconsciously) the dis-ease of codependency. I get self-sacrifice, denying needs and wants to please others, approval-seeking, self-abandonment.
I am intimately acquainted with checking off all the boxes to earn love, validation, approval.
So what is new?
1. Committing to accepting the people I cannot change and the courage to change the one I can.
2. Learning that grief does eventually give way to acceptance. And it doesn't happen all at once. It is most certainly a process. And it takes as long as it takes.
3. Learning that I can choose joy even when others are in pain (and it doesn't make me selfish. It makes me brave)
4. Embracing how beautiful life is without worrying when will the bottom drop out.
5. Learning that joy isn't the absence of pain, rather it is vast enough to include the full spectrum, the totality of emotion and human experience.
What else is new?
6. Trust. Trusting that no matter what (and I mean no matter what,) only Love is real.
